the other layout...

I did manage to do two layouts on Monday, but because I was on the final day of the EarlyBird course, I didn't manage to upload it...
I had loads of fun with the sewing machine, and the reason I haven't used the machine on a layout is because I had no clue where the power cord was!
Right, have to fly, have an appointment at the hospital at 10am - thank goodness the woman from reception rang yesterday, because I had no clue we even had an appointment!!

Shell's blog challenge Nov 21st-27th

Name 5 things you would do if you had a magic wand and explain why.

1. Have an endless bank balance, one of those ones that no matter how much I take out, the balance remains the same.
2. Win huge(!) in lotto - see #1.
3. Buy our own house, because I'm so tired of looking at grotty rentals and shifting house
4. Solve the worlds problems (wouldn't that be nice!)
5. shift the weight that I seem to carry everywhere (and I don't mean Molly :o) )

Could it be, possibly, I think it could be....yup, a layout!! After goodness knows how long since I actually sat and completed a page, today was the day. Possibly helped by the fact that it's a) raining like no-ones business b) both girls are home for the day with a revolting cold - whatever it is, I hope it decides to stick around, because I don't mind being able to achieve some results!!

Like I said, both girls are at home with a cold...I woke up far too many times last night, hearing one of them cough...poor Molly was the worst last night. And worst even today, she missed out on Kindy Photos!! I'm really sad, was really looking forward to her photo with kindy - never mind, Trish said they'd try and get a nice shot of her for us, and I'll still by the group photo for her. Right, I'm off to tidy the kitchen, T'Keyah just trashed it a beaut! and then I might even try another layout! ooohh, two in one day!

Well, we made the move - big changes too....Molly gave the cot up (finally) and is really settled and loving her big bed! Sad thing is though, the duvet hasn't shown up yet - was posted back on the 9th - I've still got my fingers crossed though (lets hope it's just slow postal service!!)
That bird is driving me bonkers! Charlie seems to be a lot more vocal since we've moved - and now that he's hanging from the roof, he thinks it's entertaining to chuck seeds at you while you're on the computer! The picture is of Charlie - it's an old one though, he's now sporting a bright yellow head! Apparently a sign of maturity - yeah right! Think someone needs to tell Charlie that!
I should really go and unload some more boxes, but I'm so sick of it!! Think I'll concentrate on my scrapping area, yes area - I don't have a room (boo-hoo) so I've got to think carefully and make it look boring and uninteresting to keep Molly away! Speaking of Molly, she's sitting watching the Holey Doleys (insane little men really) and is copying them being a washing machine! Very cute! Molly, not the creepy men!

and to catch up completely here is Challenge #3

I ask each of you to choose a letter of the alphabet and answer each of the following with a word/group of words that begins with the letter you've chosen... ie say I chose the letter "M"... a color would be MAGENTA, a song would be MONY MONY by Billy Idol and so on Get it? Right here they are:-
1. Name one color. Pink
2. Name one song. Please release me!
3. Name one movie. Pretty Woman
4. Name one vehicle. Peugeot
5. Name one food. Pineapple
6. Name one household item. Piano
7. Name one book. Princess' Diaries
8. Name one scrapbook related tool Paper Cutter
9. Name one animal Pony
10. Name one country/place Palmerston

slipping on the blog challenges from kiwiscraps! Here's challenge #2

10 CD’s/songs that you just have to have if you got stranded on a desert island

1. Robbie Williams - live at knebworth
2. Counting Crows
3. Boney M
4. James Blunt
5. ABBA
6. Aqua (gotta have something a little lively)
7. Gun's & Rose's
8. Time to say goodbye (incredibly sad song, but beautiful)
9. Gwen Steffani
10 Enya

Crumbs...we move on Saturday and have about 6 boxes packed!
Oh bums, I've just won an auction on TradeMe...(see left) prolly shouldn't have kept on bidding, but since an awesome friend does the best pictures, and she has the exact same material, I had to have it! Molly's new room will look totally cute, all co-ordinating! Will post some pictures when it's all together.
Might even switch the girls beds, - or not, T'Keyah would probably rip my head off....but then again, if I can do a deal and get her a pink headboard....hmmm, there could be a deal in there somewhere!
Oh yeah, T'Keyah is obessed with pink, baby pink to be specific - and to tell the honest truth, I'm pretty partial to baby pink myself! Would love the girls to have rooms that they love being in (means I might see less of them hehehe) I only signed on to win the auction, and I'm still here - sheesh, and the boxes aren't packing themselves (unfortunately!).
I had my second session with the EarlyBird programme yesterday - still great, and I'm delighted in the progress Molly is making, she said UP at kindy the other day, she seems to be listening much more, and following on with instructions. Some of the things we're learning over the next few sessions are based around the ABA programme, so I'm really interested in that!

I'm going to try and be more diligent about posting here - I find when I do write things down, I feel a little calmer in daily life (especially at evening time, I get so short with the girls) and Kiwiscraps have posted a blog challenge, which I think I'll follow, so here goes with challenge number one!!

1. Name one productive thing you accomplished this past weekend.
Ha, that would be producing some layouts at an all day crop!!
2. Name two things that you look forward to doing.
Shopping without children
soaking in a huge bubble bath
3. Name three things that gross you out.
Vomit
Spiders
Beetles (huge black ones)
4. Name four things that you normally do on a daily basis.
Change nappies
Shower
Surf the internet
kiss my girls (though the bigger one is starting to avoid them!)
5. Name five things that you own that you think you could get rid of and not miss.
the kids (JOKING!)
at least two pairs of shoes (that I have NEVER worn)
Iron
Iron board
Pizza stone (far far easier to dial out!)

I had a brilliant day - an all day crop (10am-6pm) and it certainly shook me out of my funk with layouts. They aren't complete, but will finish them off over the next couple of days with journalling....I so enjoy getting out, hanging with people with the same interests and having a break in the child/house routine!! Can't wait until the 26th November - it's the mega all day (10 - 8pm) christmas crop, and they rock!!
Molly is doing really well - she even said UP to me on Thursday after kindy - normally I don't like carrying her (she's so heavy!) and make her walk to the car, but she stood directly in front of me, looked up and said UP - so I looked at her and said, only because you said up, I'll carry you...and she said it again for Dad later on.
We're waiting to find out about the therapy that Molly will get - it's going to be intensive, but that is exactly what I want - I reckon this kid needs a real boost and she'll be coming out with more and more words!
Only one more week until we move - I really can't wait - I'm so looking forward to living in this new place, much lighter and brighter (especially the kitchen, this one is so dark!) and NO FREAKING RED CARPET!! When we first moved here I loved the colour scheme - a rich red carpet, navy blue walls and almost white curtains - it does look quite nice - but oh man, the carpet is a killer with the dog and the cat (both have white fur!!) It'll be so nice not seeing white fluff all over the carpet!

I took some pictures of the wee girl the other day - was quite pleased with them too! She's such an adorable little monkey. That's one of them up in the corner.

I had my first EarlyBird session yesterday...talk about brain ache!! It's amazing how much mine hurt - just shows it gets very little use.
I think the course is going to be great...I'm still in two minds about what my girl actually has/is. After talking and seeing the videos of the other children, she does slot into Autism...but then today, she's totally clued on to everything and the only difference is she's non-verbal. This whole rollercoaster is frustrating the living hell out of me. And I can only imagine what it's like for Molly.
I got some great ideas, and insight from yesterday...kinda hanging out for the next one, which is in another three weeks. Don't really know whether Craigs going to be into it....he's really fucking me off tonight...wish he'd just pissthehelloff!! He's not taken much interest in what went on yesterday, hasn't even looked at the books, much less asked me anything about it - T.V. was far more important. I still suspect Rhys has either autism, or aspergers...but thats something Craig doesn't even want to touch...stupid prat. He'd rather just sweep it under the carpet and carry on like life is perfectly ok...which it's far from! Somedays I feel like I'm pushing a lump of turd uphill with a toothpick...

Looking forward to Friday, having a coffee group, and will catch up with the 'girls' who I haven't seen in months!! Will be fabulous...great bunch of chicks with an instant play group! Great for Molly's socialisation too.

Ugh, I haven't been here for ages, and my head is about to explode....I need to make more effort to come in here and get it out!
I'm kinda gearing myself up for Molly to actually be diagnosed as autistic...I know, I said that the psychologist said she wasn't , but there is a meeting being held on Monday (11 October) and I've just got that sinking gut feeling that it's going to be ripped out (the diagnosis)
I guess at the end of the day, it isn't really that bad...but it's not what I had planned for my daughter, KWIM?? There are days that I just want to bury my head in the sand and ignore it - there are days I just want to leave, and not come back, and there are days that I love and adore her so much it hurts!
I feel so incredibly frustrated with everything - her progress is happening, but I don't credit Vera Hayward, or Michelle with any of it. It rips me when I hear of other autistic children, probably ones who are more effected that Molly, making huge progress. Christ, my daughter is nearly 4 - what the hell happens about school??? I don' t want this to effect her all through her life, I want her to have a reasonably good life, and be accepted, and to be honest, the way we're going now, she's going to be a social outcast!! And that breaks my heart
Christine is meant to contact me after the big meeting, so I'll make big decisions then about Molly's therapy, in particular - changing speech therapists.

Woohoo, we're off tomorrow to Christchurch, not really looking forward to the drive, ma's car, no decent sounds and T'Keyah beside me (sheesh!!) lol - the Nationals are being held in Christchurch, and considering this is the first time they've ever been held in the south island, it's a pretty big deal - sooooo looking forward to it. Though on the downside, I leave Molly & Craig here, so thats hard. I so enjoy my break - but miss them like mad all the same. I'm bummed though, that I hardly have any money to take....piss.
I feel down, and I know exactly why, and I'm dealing with it slowly (I think) its a sticky situation and something that I can't even write here - because you just never know.

WARNING - Language is crass!

Poor poppet wasn't a happy camper yesterday - we went to kindy, as per usual, she rocked up, did her name and lunch box, checked out what was on offer and decided she didn't want to stay. We came home, and I started feeling like crap too - could barely keep my eyes open - Molly was really warm to touch too, so I started pumping the fluids. T'Keyah came home at 3ish, and I thought I'd try to catch a nap - but Molly began having a melt-down in the kitchen, so I came out - she was trying to put her sneakers back on (having a shoe obsession lately) so I picked her up and came and sat on the computer chair with her to have a cuddle - she fell asleep!! So we went to the couch and she slept - having huge body jumps though! She slept on and off until 5.30 when Dad took over and I took T'Keyah to marching and went to the supermarket. Came home at 6.30 and she was still napping, so I got PJ's out and panadoled her up (was quite hot) and she was in bed and asleep by 7pm!! She woke up at 3 soaking wet, so Craig changed her and I changed her bed, and she went back to sleep - she was up again at 6.20 for the day, and is fairly chipper and eating loads!! Still in her PJ's and sneakers!!

I was talking with Susan yesterday at kindy and she was relaying a conversation that Michelle and Adrienne had on Thursday - the general gist of it was that Michelle doesn't agree with Christines diagnosis - she's really starting to fuck me off - she's stuck in the mindset that Molly is autistic and won't shift - Maybe it's because my daughter doesn't freaking like you!!!!!!!! Even Susan commented that there didn't seem to be much of a rapport there and Molly was unsettled on Thursday - um yeah, cos that fucktard was there!!!!!! I think it's time we got a new therapist, someone that will give Molly the therapy she needs - not therapy for autism, because she's not freakin autistic!!! I so want to slap that bitch. ARGH!

Well, Christine, the physcologist came on Tuesday, observed Molly and asked questions (loads!) and at the end said "I will get you and Craig in sometime next week to do all the formal side, and I still need to speak to Adele (Cox, the supervising physcologist), but at this stage I think it's inappropriate to diagnose Molly as autistic"
Woo-freakin-hoo!!! I was so thrilled - I wasn't bothered if she was autistic, I was dealing with the fact that she might be, but that mothers instinct kept telling me it wasn't right, and I'm just thrilled to know she's not going to be labelled autistic!! IN YER FACE VERA HAYWARD!!! Craig laughed the other night about being a fly on the wall when vera hayward found the news! I just hope now that Michelle will pull her socks up about the whole thing - and stop focusing on the autistic label and give Molly the therapy she needs. If she's going to be a poop-head about it, I will request a new therapist.
Molly is addicted to Ice-Age - she's adorable how she cracks up at the cartoon creatures antics - where's da baby? Is hilarious!

Thought I should include a picture of Lucy - our puddy cat, she's a dear wee cat, but can a complete bitch sometimes - lol, just like most women I guess!!
Bentley is an egg...he totally acted the fool on Saturday, at both shows!! Blinken twit. Saturday night we went to High Tide for dinner - ooh yummo, the food was absolutely devine!! It was great to get out and have a "posh" dinner, no plastic place mats or melamine dinner ware!
Sunday, Bentley behaved so much better, but the judge didn't like him - she looked like something out of the planet of the apes!! I'm quite looking forward to the Nationals in Christchurch at the end of the month. (just have to save some $$ for it!)

Molly had speech this morning, it put me in a pretty crap mood - she acted like a complete moron - all the more reason for them to say she's autistic! I just wish she'd be the kid that she is at home! I really don't get why she changes so much.
We've got the clinical physcologist coming tomorrow morning to observe her in the home - I seriously hate this shit, I feel like I'm being watched - oh wait I AM BEING WATCHED!! LMAO
I must be having a down time about the whole saga again - I feel angry, tired and tearful. BUT I love this girl so much, she is just so much fun right now, she cracks me up sometimes. Little monkey is eating ice cream, tried eating it straight from the container, but I grabbed it just in time - so she's got a bowl and is sitting up at the table with it. now she's tipping the melted dribbles onto the table - piglet.

T'Keyah celebrated her 12th birthday on Sunday....12 years! It's hard to believe in someways that she's that old! She stayed over at grandmas on the Saturday night, wanted to be the first one to stay at the new house, so I went over to pick her up and took her into town for a mini shopping spree...sheesh, that girl can shop! But she got some great clothes. On Tuesday, we went in and got her ears pierced again...most impressed with the Trenz place, clean, sanitised, very professional!! (though I suppose they have to be now)

Molly is being watched by a clinical psycologist, god that sounds scarey! She's been to see her at speech and at kindy, and will be coming to the house next week. I'm sure she's the key in Molly's diagnosis, considering the paediatrican didn't want to say either way. Still scares the crap out of me....there is so much of me that just wants her to be a perfectly normal little girl.

We've got boogers for Africa...Molly has a tap for a nose right now, I seriously can't wait for this cold to be over...Bleh!! Yucky cough to boot too, poor pumpkin. I kept her home on Monday, from speech class & Kindy, Tuesday we had an early appointment at the hospital to see the clinical psychologist, which went well...she's making arrangements to see Molly at home, in speech, and at Kindy...so hopefully we're on our way to making some progress! Tuesday afternoon, we got to Kindy, she picked out her name, put it on the fridge and lunchbox on the trolley...took off to play & and then decided that she didn't want to be there (sheesh!)

Today is coffee group, which is great...I love seeing Molly with the boys, and she's keen to check out J's thomas set! It's nice to have great friends in my life - there was a time that they weren't there (twice actually) but I'm glad that I have them now.

I NEED a scrapbook room...I'm so tired of the mess and clutter and lack of space that I have in my corner...I NEED this jerk to let us know about the house...I NEED to know NOW!! I have a room in my head, I really should start writing things down so that I remember what I want!! I've told Craig most things, but his memory is shocking, so I won't hold him to remembering diddley!!
OOOOhh, and on the scrapbooking topic, I went out to mosgiel yesterday to check out the new shop, The Crafty Mrs....gorgeous gorgeous stuff, and it's stuff Elena doesn't have in town, so I dont' feel bad buying it LOL - but The Crafty Mrs does have the bazzill for slightly cheaper AND different colours. Got some gorgeous stuff AND AND across the road I got a new 12x12 cutter - the purple one for $24.95! Bargin of the week, considering they range from $34.95 - $50 in town!! (egads!!)
Righto - I'm off, need to get Molly some breaky, have a shower, put dinner in the crockpot and vacuum the floor before noon....I'm sure that can be done!

Oh, and we're moving mum in this weekend, brand new house (brother on the other end too - but I ain't helping them move - they've never once helped me - so tough noogies!)

Today is gorgeous - the sun is shining, blue sky (wind is a fraction cool though) Just had coffee group here, the boys arrive in sweatshirts, jackets and hats and leave in singlets! LOL - The sun streams in the lounge and it's rather hot. Molly is watching the wiggles, space dancing again - I swear I could chuck that video, but it's a sanity saver, and she loves it soooooo much!
We've finally got an appointment for the clinical psychologist - next week, I'm kinda nervous about it all though, it's like the last avenue for Molly - I guess a diagnosis is the next step. I grieve in many different ways for my girl, and each hurdle we come to and eventually get over, I grieve a little more - and I guess that after next week, it'll be time to grieve again. I'm sad for the girl I didn't get, the girlie girl who would be playing dolls, having little conversations with me, loving chatting with her peers, playing dolls, house, dress-ups - the girl that may never talk, never achieve great things, may never be able to move out of home and become completely independant - it scares the living crap out of me at times...and for the most part I feel that I'm meant to just suck it up and deal with it...and most days I can do this, but there are those dark times that I just cry and feel sorry for myself.
I heard that a wee boy that we'd been to music group with died over the weekend. I actually went to school with his dad, and he remembered me and spoke with me too! (I didn't know if he would - I was a bit of a bitch at school) Wee Asher was so gorgeous, blond spikey hair, and the cutest little glasses - a real wee stunner of a boy. He had cerebal palsy quite badly and apparently vomited and choked on it, he had only just turned 4 in March...my heart goes out to his parents and to wee Asher - I like to think that he's in a great place, free from the restrictions he had in this life...Rest in Peace Asher, by the sounds of it, you were much loved and will be dearly missed by many people.

It's been a few days - and right now I have a thumping headache and really can't think straight - will come back and update later

It's Friday <<>> my house is quiet, albiet the tv, and the dog rolling on the floor. Molly is in bed, T'Keyah is off at her Dad's until Sunday, and Craigs gone out...it's just mememe! I'm trying to pack some things for Scrap Saturday - don't really know how much I'll get done, more of a social outing I think! Carol will have her new little bubba there, so I will probably get distracted! Might do some more christmas cards, or other cards, least that way I don't need the computer for journalling!
ARGH - I'm trying to play a game online, and the blinken thing won't download, why do little things irritate me so much!?
Seems to me that each week I go grocery shopping the bill gets higher and higher!
I'm reading the trade-me message boards and there is a auction for a bubble wrap puppy (see picture, which is mighty cute!) me thinks some people have way too much time on their hands!

Ugh, it's still cold, the wind is absolutely bitter. The girls are home, both had good days, T'Keyah's probably could have been better, another argument with girl at school. Molly had a great time at Kindy. Me...I went to the library, and it was great to be able to check out books without a certain little person pestering me (and the rest of the library)
I'm so pre-menstrual it's not funny - so dinner tonight will be very basic - I just don't have the energy nor the patience....oh joy...see that's one HUGE advantage of being pregnant....NO period!
I've got some clothing listed on trade me - there are a pair of T'Keyah's old pj's, saddle club ones, which are at $12.50 already! They're only pyjamas!!
Meh, it's cold, I'm going to have to light the fire, which means getting wood, which means going outside, which means getting up! eeeww...