Today is gorgeous - the sun is shining, blue sky (wind is a fraction cool though) Just had coffee group here, the boys arrive in sweatshirts, jackets and hats and leave in singlets! LOL - The sun streams in the lounge and it's rather hot. Molly is watching the wiggles, space dancing again - I swear I could chuck that video, but it's a sanity saver, and she loves it soooooo much!
We've finally got an appointment for the clinical psychologist - next week, I'm kinda nervous about it all though, it's like the last avenue for Molly - I guess a diagnosis is the next step. I grieve in many different ways for my girl, and each hurdle we come to and eventually get over, I grieve a little more - and I guess that after next week, it'll be time to grieve again. I'm sad for the girl I didn't get, the girlie girl who would be playing dolls, having little conversations with me, loving chatting with her peers, playing dolls, house, dress-ups - the girl that may never talk, never achieve great things, may never be able to move out of home and become completely independant - it scares the living crap out of me at times...and for the most part I feel that I'm meant to just suck it up and deal with it...and most days I can do this, but there are those dark times that I just cry and feel sorry for myself.
I heard that a wee boy that we'd been to music group with died over the weekend. I actually went to school with his dad, and he remembered me and spoke with me too! (I didn't know if he would - I was a bit of a bitch at school) Wee Asher was so gorgeous, blond spikey hair, and the cutest little glasses - a real wee stunner of a boy. He had cerebal palsy quite badly and apparently vomited and choked on it, he had only just turned 4 in March...my heart goes out to his parents and to wee Asher - I like to think that he's in a great place, free from the restrictions he had in this life...Rest in Peace Asher, by the sounds of it, you were much loved and will be dearly missed by many people.